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Let’s talk fashion. I’m sure some of you want a break from reading about pubic hairs, camel toes, and farting.
I apologize if I’ve offended anyone with my taste in topics to write about. Nevermind. Find another blog to read if you don’t like what I write about. Again, nothing is off topic.
Today, I’ll talk about fashion. Sitka fashion. The boots you see in the photo above are called “Xtra Tuf” boots. They may be one of the ugliest shoes ever made. (Maybe one step above Crocs. But nonetheless, hideous.) Everyone and their brother wears these things. You can find short, mid, and tall heights with the options of regular, insulated, and steel toe. You may have some style options, but you only get one color: poop with calf scour trim. Now, I’m not trying to be a fashion snob. I do understand in some professions these boots are a necessity and that’s fine, but as a waitress at an INDOOR restaurant with no patio?! (I shit you not, we had a waitress at a restaurant wearing Xtra Tufs with a miniskirt and leggings. Haute.)
I love fashion. I always have and always will, so naturally, I refused to purchase such ugly footwear. I chose Hunter. I made C-money buy me a pair of the Original Tall Wellies in matte black (surprise, surprise). I have yet to see any other person wear a pair of Hunter boots. This just adds more to my problem…
There seems to be a label on my forehead that reads “I’m not from here.” I don’t even have to say anything. It doesn’t matter if I say, “hello” and greet people with a smile. Does. Not. Matter. I continually get weird looks from people and anytime someone asks me where I’m from I say, “Montana.” Then comes “the look.” I’ve learned that a lot of people aren’t too happy we’re here. (Without going into details, let’s just say, we’re here temporarily for a city IMPROVEMENT and SOME (not all) locals aren’t too happy about it. Thankfully I recently got Alaska plates and an Alaska driver’s license so I “blend” in a little more.) Welcome to a small town. I spent most of my life growing up in a small town and the day I left I said I would NEVER live in a small town EVER again. Welp, here I am. (At least it’s 9k people instead of 250.) I thought I endured my fair share of close-mindedness, judgement, and gossip…guess not.
The lack of fashion here is depressing. A friend and I ventured downtown to explore the “shopping.” We went to one boutique which was also a men & women’s clothing boutique/home decor/gift/toy store. Random. I didn’t find anything I couldn’t live without. They had some lower end lines to Billabong and O’Neill. It was like Maurices and PacSun had a love child. Not my thing. For denim they had MissMe and other lines that were equally ugly. Okay, ladies. Please help me understand. What the hell is the crave about bedazzled, top-stitched denim (See Exhibit A)? If you are concerned of making your ass look BIGGER, DO NOT wear denim with rhinestones and fleur de lis top-stitching unless you’re striving for a Kim Kardashian badonkadonk. Even if you’re not concerned of making your ass look big, don’t wear them anyway.
On top of the lack of fashion in the area, I’ve noticed that not a lot of women wear makeup or do their hair. Don’t get me wrong, I’m no beauty queen. Currently I have a messy, unwashed bun on the top of my head and zero makeup. When I do decide to do something with myself instead of looking like a hot mess, I still get funny looks. Even blow dried hair, a little face makeup and mascara is enough to get looked at funny. Throw on some jeans, Hunter boots, and a cashmere sweater and I get looked at like I have leprosy.
I recently had this conversation with a new friend at the local animal shelter/hospital. She is a local and is also disappointed by the lack of fashion in the area. She advised me to “not give a shit” and wear what I want to wear. I plan on doing just that, because there is no way in hell that I will be caught dead in Xtra Tufs and bedazzled jeans. Ever.