Cookie Monster.


True story. (Courtesy of Pinterest)

Generally to pass the time on rainy, shitty days, I tend to distract myself with playing fetch (in the long hallway in our house) with the dogs, cleaning, laundry, cooking, baking, writing in the ol’ blog, playing on the computer (i.e. Pinterest, Facebook, etc.), reading, TV, and good ol’ Super Nintendo. (I will dominate you in a game of Super Mario Brothers. No joke.)

Lately, rainy and shitty days have been pretty prevalent, which is why the house is spotless, all laundry is done, and C-money is well fed. I used to love the sound of rain, but now I’m getting to the point where I hate the sound of rain. When I hear the tinkering of rain against the windows, or the outburst of rain on the roof, my eyes roll back into my head and curse words start spouting off. I have what you would call, Precipitation Tourettes. #RainCockShitTwatBallsMotherFucker (Please tell me you got the “Deuce Bigelow” reference…) I honestly can’t remember the last day we’ve been here that we haven’t had rain. Ri-damn-diculous.

Thank goodness for Pinterest. Granted, I will never try every recipe, I won’t make all the crafty things, I will never look like those fashionable bitches because I will never be able to afford YSL and Jimmy Choo… but damn is it addicting! I tend to go completely A.D.D. EVERY time I’m on there. One minute I’m pinning fashion, then the next I’m pinning a “how to” on washing fruits and veggies.

Just so you know, I have a love affair…with red velvet. I don’t give a shit if it’s in the form of cake, cupcakes, cookies, icecream…..whatever. I. Love. Red. Velvet. Bonus? Sprinkle powdered sugar over anything and I’m a sugar coma away from pure bliss. I’ve always craved more salt than sweet, but for some reason, being here I’ve turned into a complete sweet tooth. (Before you go and make an “ass” out of “u” and “me” (i.e. “assume” — keep up), I am 100% NOT pregnant. Currently I have what feels like a bowling ball resting on my pelvis. So no, my eggo is NOT prego.) Maybe a lack of vitamin D and a mini depression will bring on the cravings for sweets, no?

Because of Pinterest, I came across this little gem of a recipe. For all you lovers of Red Velvet and especially for those bitches who can’t bake, here is a recipe for you.

Red Velvet Crinkles
Courtesy of Pinterest, no less.
(I didn’t get a chance to document them since we ate them all. You win some, you lose some. I chose to eat…and lost.)
Red Velvet Crinkle Cookies
6 T Butter (melted and cooled)
2 Large Eggs
1 Box Red Velvet Cake Mix
1/2 Cup Powdered Sugar
Cut a hole in a box. Oh, wait. Wrong tutorial. Damn you, Andy & Justin.
Preheat Oven to 375, place parchment on baking sheets, and put powdered sugar in bowl and set aside.
Step 2:
In a bowl, combine butter, eggs, and cake mix.
When mixing, it may seem like it isn’t moist enough (That’s what she said.)
Keep stirring. It will bind.
Step 3:
Use a spoon or a cookie scoop to make 1 inch balls and coat in powdered sugar.
Leave the balls whole. (No castrating.)
Step 4:
Place the balls a couple inches apart.
Bake for 8-10 minutes
(I only baked for 8, which resulted in a perfect crisp outside and fudge texture inside. Delish.)
Step 5:
It says to wait 5 minutes for them to cool.
If you can wait that long, good luck.
The recipe says they can stay in an air tight container up to 5 days. Pshh. They won’t last that long. Trust me.

One thought on “Cookie Monster.

  1. mom says:

    yep, tried the recipe and it’s disappearing quickly! damn the diet anyway!

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